What will I become when I grow up?

30% answered “I want to be a Doctor”

20% answered “I want to be a Lawyer”

20% answered “I want to be an Engineer”

09% answered “I want to be a Teacher”

01% answered “I want to be happy”

 

That is according to my own statistics hehehe. These were those of the possible answer that we could easily grasp as a simple and young people as we were. Kahit dampa lang ang bahay, we still want to be a doctor. This is our first bukang-bibig nung bata pa tayo, once we’ve been ask with this particular question, automatic din ang sagot.. DOCTOR! To heal the sick people... influenced by Little Miss Philippines foreword yata eh, akala natin yun na din yung pangarap natin… nausuhan.

 

Sabi ko dati pag tinatong ako ni Tito, Vic and Joey kakaiba ang isasagot ko para maiba naman.. I want to be an Astronaut!!!... pero may isang problema natakot ako kasi baka ipa-spell sa kin mukhang mahirap ata, kaya di na lang ako sasali ng Little Miss Philippines, pero yun parin ang pangarap ko… I love stars kasi, clouds and kilala ko na yung mga planet sa Solar System that time… Kaya spelling na lang ang pagtatrabahuhan ko. The reason why most of my drawings are all about planets, colorful sky, and magkasamang moon and sun sa iisang cloud. Hehe..  Those were the days… *sigh*

 

And up to now I’m still struggling of what do I want to be as a grown up. Life is not that simple pala, a dream will not be fulfilled in a simple canvass pala. Becoming someone i want to be… remains a riddle… a measure that cannot be fathom… and uninterpreted signs *sigh ulet*

 

I’ll be turning 25 on the 5^th day of May, but when I look back on my previous trail, I found mark that I never thought of traveling, I find it as not the same map as I use to draw when I was still enthusiast of dreaming… It is not people expecting me to become… nor plans when I refer to it as future... my yesterday is a tale of worries… an evident of weaknesses,  and undying disturbance… my today is now a new beginning a new answer to what do I wanna be when I grew up, I mean as a grown up… at this age ngayon pa lang ulet ako totoong mangangarap… with the providence of God, I’m luckily enjoying the unfamiliar trail… may God be with me.

 

I’ve been a bum for more than 4 months now… still collecting pieces of a ruined image of my dreams. Quite confused which one to pursue.. Conservatory of Music, to be a Certified Professional Accountant, MBA for business, MBA for Information Technology, or just be a government employee and be an active member of our Parish Church. Lahat sila will become my fulfillment, fulfillment of joy, and a fulfillment as a human being… so I took one step at a time… wala kasi akong maitulak kabigin… so I let go and Let God. To be continued… (naks)